are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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