WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
