If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
