Acid is not a monday night drug
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
