How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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