Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
