woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
