I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
