Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize