I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
