Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
