Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
