Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
