Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize