...so i touched it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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