question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
