True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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