awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
