is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
