I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
