if i can run in heels then i can drive
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
its liver damage thursday
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