so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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