its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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