You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
love makes seman taste better
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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