i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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