I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
