Christians are straight up FREAKS
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh god it's open bar.
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