He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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