and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize