Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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