I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
