...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
