beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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