Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
false alarm. still invincible.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
