Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
