No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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