well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dear god my vagina.
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