I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
