Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
