You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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