I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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