Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
