oh god the rape fog is back!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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