Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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