i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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