I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
