Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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