let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
