We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
