i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
