and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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