I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
