You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
