Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont even know how to be here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize