She is in my trunk
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
