I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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