im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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