Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
