it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it glows. i had to have it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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