i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
