Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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