There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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