Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
