R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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