But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im six kinds of drunk right now
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
