That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
