I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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