There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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