i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
