dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
