I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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