I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
