You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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