Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He did a backflip because drugs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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