Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
