Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
