was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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