her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
