just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
