I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
